Welcome back friends!
If you’ve been practicing what you’ve been learning about the first three essentials to create happiness over the last three weeks, then I take it you’re probably either a) mentally exhausted b) a bit of a hot mess or c) all the above?
He-he! It’s okay. I’ve been there and I know it can be intense. I’m so glad you came back to get the 4th and final essential to create more happiness in your life!
So, what is it?
“Most unhappiness is caused by a lack of clear meaning and purpose in your life.” – Brian Tracy
Find Your Purpose. Many people feel sad, alone or lost because they do not know why they are here. We are all here for a reason. We are all important. But for many of us, a lack of fulfillment can come from feeling a lack of clear meaning or purpose.
One of the idea that helped me was Elizabeth Gilbert’s talk called The Flight of the Humming Bird, The Curiosity Driven Life. She talks about how we are not all meant to have a passion in life and how the whole “Find your passion” rage can actually work against us.
One woman shared that she was in her 50’s and had been to the ends of the earth and back trying to figure out her passion. She was frustrated and angry. She described herself to be more like a person with many different interests going from one to the next, sometimes staying longer with one interest than another.
I completely related to this lady. I’m married to a man who wakes up daily with clarity as to why he is here and follows his passion religiously. I was in pain for some time thinking I needed to be like him and was at a loss for not being able to find my passion.
Elizabeth’s talk supports the idea that life will not look the same for all of us, that each of us truly has our own purpose for being here – maybe even more than one purpose. For example, let’s say you raised your children, they are grown and you’re feeling like, “What next?” Go play with curiosity to find out what that is for you. Discover the different layers of yourself. There are no rules to life. It doesn’t need to look a certain way.
Putting it into Practice
3 Ways to Help You Find Your Purpose
1. Be alone. Spending time by ourselves allows us to discover and reflect upon ourselves because there is no interruption from others. If you do not like to be alone, then that is a surefire sign you need to hang with yourself alone for a bit. Don’t be afraid of it, embrace it. If weird feelings that you don’t want to feel start to come up, do not label that as a bad thing, simply take notice of it. Feelings aren’t always going to feel good, but why does that have to be a bad thing? This is where essential one comes into play – Acceptance. We’re going to feel all the feelings throughout life. They are just communicating something with us. Don’t be afraid of it or label it.
2. Get uncomfortable. Your life begins at the end of your comfort zone. We are meant to evolve and find out new things about ourselves. How can we do that if we stay in the harbor all day, err day? You can’t. For many, being uncomfortable can be paralyzing. Here is the opportunity, here is where the growth happens, this is where the choice is given to us. Will you take it and grow or turn it away? Learn to appreciate it. Remember part one of this series, be okay with feeling insecure or being uncomfortable. We all feel insecure when we are uncomfortable. But if you want to find your purpose, you must push your limits and discover new things about yourself. That’s how the magic happens.
3. Unplug from social media for periods of a time, every so often. After being on Facebook for 11 years, I took a year to disconnect. This was one of the most freeing and stress relieving things I did for myself. Facebook has its great qualities but let’s face it, it’s over stimulating, a time suck, and if not managed responsibly can make you crazy. Maybe a year seems a little extreme for you, so start smaller. Try a long weekend or a whole week. Now, what will you discover with all that extra time on your hands?
Learning how to create happiness has been my main focus for the last three years. When I lose focus, which let’s face it, no one’s perfect, I will be the first to admit that I get caught up in a mud puddle and I feel less happy. This is why it is so important to consciously do the work every day to focus on gratitude and get out of your head – especially on the days it is hardest.
Remember, like anything that you care about, happiness needs maintenance check-ins. So, don’t forget to refill your own tank and like any good relationship, it takes work. This relationship just happens to be with yourself.
Some days will be easier than others for sure – I’ve been there. But the work you do on yourself to create happiness is the most important work you do in your life and I promise you, it is so worth it. After all, life is a long journey and sometimes it’s going to be hard but it is so much more enjoyable if you can find light in the bumps, barriers, stresses and mud puddles. This is what enjoying the journey is all about.
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, please contact me I’d love to hear from you and see how I can help you evolve into awesomeness!